


Ourselves In Each Other

by knockout_mouse



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Autistic Julian Bashir, Body Image, Bodyswap, Cardassian Anatomy, Cardassian Culture, Humor, Identity Swap, Mistaken Identity, Multi, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Body, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:02:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23974204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knockout_mouse/pseuds/knockout_mouse
Summary: After a transporter accident, Julian's and Garak's brains get swapped with each other's bodies.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 38
Kudos: 181





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Content warning: brief mention of characters vomiting.

Julian knew something was wrong before he fully woke up. It was in the stretch of his hands, the length of his body, the chill in the air. He shivered and tried to roll onto his side, only to be met with various aches and a shuffle of scales. It was that last detail that made him open his eyes, and when he did, he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing.

“Ah, Mr. Garak, you’re awake. I was hoping you could tell us–”

Julian reeled as he sat up, too heavy, his limbs refusing to keep pace with his mind. His head swiveled as he tried to take in his surroundings: Captain Sisko and Nurse Jabara stood near his biobed, sharing concerned expressions. And on the other side of them…

He blinked, stumbling to right himself and being rewarded with a sickening lurch to his stomach. He barely had time to mutter a curse before he bent over and puked into the small trash bin set next to the bed. He really needed to install bigger bins, or at least ones that were easier to aim for.

When he caught up to what his stomach had already processed, he looked over at the other bed again. Lying there, limp and unconscious, was him.

Or, more precisely, his body, which at the moment Julian wasn’t sure still counted as “him” or not. As for the body he currently resided in, as had become horrifyingly clear by now, it was covered in pale scales and ridges that ran along a very familiar pattern up his neck and face. There was a mirror across the room. If he could just–

“Hey, hey, hold it now, you’ve just suffered from a transporter malfunction.” Nurse Jabara said, clamping onto his (grey, callused) hands to keep him pinned to the bed, “We’re still not sure what side effects might have occurred.”

Julian gave a startled laugh, and when he opened his mouth a much different voice spoke, “I’ll say! How about we start with my body currently laying over there? I’ve suffered from out-of-body experiences before, but I must say this really takes it.”

Nurse Jabara blanched and let go. Sisko stepped into Julian’s view, tilting his head, “Doctor? Are you in there?”

Julian huffed and folded his arms, “Yes, although I’m not sure where ‘there’ is. Why am I suddenly Cardassian? Where’s Garak? What…?” The answer dawned on him, and he grabbed at Nurse Jabara’s PAD, turning it off and staring into its reflective black screen. Garak’s face stared back. When his eyes widened, Garak’s eyes widened too.

“Oh shit.”

Sisko scratched at his beard, “Apt words, Doctor.” he glanced over at where not-Julian lay, “I’m going to guess that is where we’ll find Mr. Garak.”

Nurse Jabara flitted between her two patients, running new scans on each of their heads, “I knew something was off! Your brain waves seemed different somehow, not matching Garak’s normal readouts. But now that I know what to look for, they do match Doctor Bashir’s.”

Julian shuddered, “We were switched. The transporter beam must have switched up our neurological profiles with our physical data.”

A groan emanated from the other bed. The charts on the display above the patient showed that he was waking up, and Nurse Jabara came to his side, a soft hand resting on Julian’s… no _Garak’s_ shoulder.

“Mr. Garak?” she asked.

Another groan, “Please be quiet. Everything is so loud.” eyes blinked open, then immediately slammed shut, “And bright.”

Julian couldn’t take his eyes off Garak, watching in morbid fascination as the body that used to be his curled up on itself, a hand sliding to cover its ear. It was Julian’s voice, but everything was said in Garak’s own accent and pattern of speech. And vice versa, Julian noticed; he physically had Garak’s voice, but had also retained his British accent. 

After a few moments, Julian sighed and slowly got out of bed, glaring at Nurse Jabara when she tried to stop him. She must have recognized his I’m the Doctor and That’s Final look, because she stepped back. If Garak was going to have the news broken to him, then he might as well rip off the plaster, so to speak. Garak was going to see his body staring back at him sometime sooner or later.

He rested his hand gently on Garak’s arm and rubbed soothing circles. There was, at least, one advantage to this brain swap: he knew what felt comforting to himself, and currently Garak _was_ himself.

Garak hummed appreciatively, finally rolling onto his back and opening his eyes. When he registered what he was seeing, his mouth plopped open, “Oh my.”

Julian smiled, “Oh my indeed. There appears to have been a malfunction with the transporter. It uhh… switched our brains with each other’s bodies.”

Garak sighed, “Oh thank goodness, I thought I’d reached some sort of cruel afterlife. Destined to spend eternity with myself.”

Sisko stepped forward, “I must say, you are handling this revelation quite well, Mr. Garak.” 

Garak attempted to sit up, and immediately regretted it. Julian recognized that expression all too well, and pushed Garak over towards the bin. He ended up having no better aim than Julian did. 

Garak panted, “Thank you Captain, I consider myself…” he heaved, “to be… remarkably skilled at adaptation.” He straightened up and made a face, “Is this what being human is like? Everything’s so… much. I mean I knew Human vision was better than Cardassian but. And how _do_ you all stand the noise?”

Sisko chuckled, “Oh, we make do. Although I’m sure you both would prefer to keep this uh… cultural exchange to a minimum. I’ll have Nurse Jabara and the science team work on expediting your re-switching.” 

The Captain seemed to be finding something funny in the whole situation, which was easy for him since he wasn’t trapped in another person’s body. Julian scowled and flopped back onto his bed, taken aback when his new body landed with a much heavier thud.

“Easy, Doctor, that body’s not quite Starfleet condition.” Garak said, his words and mannerisms still looking odd transcribed onto the face Julian was used to seeing in the mirror every morning. He desperately wanted to connect Garak with that pair of brown eyes, but he couldn’t do it. Everything that had seemed to be him, his voice and skin and hands, all of that was gone, sitting across the room from him. Sitting across a chasm. 

The eyes twinkled and the face nodded, “It’s… not pleasant is it? Being stuck in my body?”

Julian lowered his gaze to the floor, “Your eyesight is not bad. Not good either. And I can’t hear as much. Sense of smell is about the same.” he rubbed his arms, “And it’s so cold! Is this what you meant by wanting to have the station’s temperature turned up?”

Garak grinned, “Now you understand my burden.”

“So what are we supposed to do in the meantime? I can’t fill in as a tailor, and you certainly aren’t getting anywhere near my patients.”

Garak tutted, swinging his legs off the bed, “Such lack of faith in me, Doctor. Stitching up wounds isn’t all that different from sewing.”

Julian huffed, rolling his eyes, “I’m sure.” he got up much slower than Garak had, “Well, I suppose that settles it then. We both go back to our respective stations and if anyone comes in we simply explain the situation to them.”

Garak pouted, and it was only then Julian realized how potent his pouts were to other people. Garak slid off the bed, heading for the door, “As you wish, Doctor. I take it we’ll still see each other for lunch?”

“Yes, of course,” Julian said distractedly, already flipping through their data charts for possible answers, “See you in a few.”

///////////

If Garak seeing himself in the Infirmary had felt odd, watching himself walk out from the Infirmary a few hours later and joining him in the Replimat felt a thousand times weirder. He'd sat down in his usual spot out of habit, and only realized once Julian sat down that to everyone else, it had looked like they’d swapped seats. And lunch orders.

“It’s fascinating,” Julian said between sips of his tea, “How different everyone treats me. I mean, Nurse Jabara knows who I am, but even after I explained the situation to some of my patients, they still didn’t seem to believe me. Had a Ferengi try to haggle over a price for medicine, and Worf outright refused to be treated.”

“Hmm. Tell me,” Garak shuffled food about his plate, “Does the food and drink taste different to you somehow?”

To test, Julian shoved a spoonful of _ful medames_ in his mouth. He shrugged, then seemed struck by an idea. He held up a finger and then rushed over to a replicator, returning with a plate of what appeared to be some form of vegetable stuffed with rice and meat. Garak quirked an eyebrow.

“It’s _kousa mahshi_. My mother used to make it when I was younger, but quickly discovered I could not bear it. Something about the zucchini just…” he made a face, flopping his hand in the air, “Wrong texture.”

“And now you’re eating it because…?”

Julian tested with a smaller bite, then followed it with a large spoonful, grinning. “It doesn’t bother me now! I admit I was a bit nervous to try it again but,” he returned to his bowl, “I think I can see now why my mother liked it.”

“How enlightening.” Garak said, setting his silverware down. Anything he tasted now was too strong, too… rubbery? Gooey? Was that what Julian had meant by ‘wrong texture’? Or perhaps Garak was simply not used to working with a human palette. There’d been plenty of times that he’d suggested Cardassian cuisine to Julian, only for him to complain about one aspect or another of each dish. To be fair, Garak did much the same with Terran cooking. 

“I wonder,” he chanced a look up at Julian, “If you would like to try switching roles? Just for an hour or so.”

Julian frowned, “I’m not–”

“I only ask because, well, it’s not like I'm ever going to get this change again. To see what it is like in your shoes.” To experience what it would be like if people didn’t automatically grimace upon seeing him.

It took some convincing, but Julian eventually agreed to it, if only because, he claimed, he was similarly curious what running a clothes shop as Garak would be like. Garak suspected the man was secretly hoping some spy would show up with valuable information to entrust with DS9’s tailor. Garak smirked. 

If Julian was looking for excitement, he was going to be in for a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Notes:  
> both ful medames and kousa mahashi are popular Middle Eastern dishes that I imagine Julian's mom would've made for him as a kid. 
> 
> I guess technically if they switched only their bodies, then Julian should still have trouble with sensory overload and Garak wouldn't, but it's way more fun this way to explore how each other would deal with being/no longer being autistic. Most of Julian's experience being autistic is just ripped directly from my own 😅.
> 
> Tell me what you guys think, I love hearing y'alls thoughts! Comments and kudos are very much appreciated. <3


	2. Chapter 2

Running a clothes shop was painfully boring. Julian sighed as he tipped back in his chair, eyes roaming the ceiling as he absently counted the tiles. He would’ve also lapsed into counting electrical lines he’d be able to hear running through the ceiling, but it seemed the switch had robbed him of any enhanced hearing. The same with sight; he could certainly see well enough, but there was no way Garak wouldn’t need glasses within a few years. If he didn’t have them already and was hiding them out of vanity. 

Try as he might, Julian hadn’t been able to divine any solutions from the medical data surrounding the transporter accident, and he only had some memory of how it could’ve happened. He had just finished giving the order to energize, when a sharp crackle rushed through him like electricity. He’d grabbed Garak’s hand out of instinct, clutching to the nearest solid presence as everything went white. Then: the Infirmary. 

“It sucks, doesn’t it?” a voice asked. He turned to see Kira leaning in the doorway, “Waking up and suddenly being Cardassian?”

Kira had been kidnapped by the Obsidian Order and held under duress for quite some time, given facial surgery to make her appear Cardassian. And the surgeons had done a bloody good job of it too. It’d taken a full week to carefully undo their work, Kira’s face bruised from the swelling as it took time to heal. 

Julian breathed a laugh, “I suppose. Except I’m not just any Cardassian, I’m _Garak_.”

Kira smirked, “Still feels weird. I spent a whole week after coming back expecting to feel ridges on my face. Almost cried the first time I felt my real nose again.”

Julian smiled, “And the hair. Never had a day of my life with hair this straight. I bet Cardassians don’t even have to worry about humidity.”

Kira snorted, walking up to the counter and beginning to fidget with various cloth samples, “Straight hair’s fine as long as it doesn’t get too long. You know, the second I got free time to myself after the Rebellion, I went straight to a hairdresser and told them to lop it all off!”

“Yes, I recall trying to avoid you back then: your haircut made you look intimidating!”

“Aww, you’re so sweet.” Kira said, perching on the table, swinging her legs, “So… if you’re in here, then Garak?”

“Is only allowed in the Infirmary under the strict surveillance of Nurse Jabara. Besides, I don’t expect him to get into too much trouble.”

Kira’s eyebrows lifted, “Even in his body, you still trust him too much.”

“Perhaps it is because I must literally walk in his shoes that I trust him.” he then nodded assentingly, “Possibly, too much.” 

The monitor at the entrance of the shop chirped, telling him someone was at the front. He whispered a quick apology to Kira and walked to the front, summoning up his best diplomatic smile. His expression changed to shock when he saw who'd come in.

“Garak, about that dress pattern I sent you, I’ve been thinking about some additional details that perhaps we could…” Lwaxana Troi froze, staring at Julian in confusion. He stared back, equally flummoxed.

“Who?... Excuse me, what…?” Lwaxana began, then her wrinkles smoothed, and she gave a sigh of relief, “Doctor Bashir, you gave me quite the shock!”

Julian laughed uneasily, “Sorry, I… I had no idea you were coming. And, uh, this situation wasn’t exactly planned either.”

Fully recovered from her moment of bewilderment, Lwaxana swooped in, taking him by the arm towards the back counter, “Oh, don’t worry dear, you’re hardly the first person I’ve met who got stuck in someone else’s body. Or the first to have their brains switched, now that I think of it.” she winked, “Anyway, about that dress–”

“Err, ma’am, I don’t,” Julian winced, “I don’t actually know much about tailoring.”

“Then why are you running this shop?”

“It was a sort of agreement. See, Garak wanted to test what it’d be like if he stayed in the Infirmary, a-and so naturally I–”

Kira rapped her knuckles on the counter. She’d almost slipped past them without him even noticing, “I’ll see you later, Julian.”

“N-wait!” 

She smiled innocently, “Oh I wouldn’t want to disturb you, you’re with a customer after all.” Her smile then turned into a shit-eating grin, and she skipped away. Traitor.

Julian sighed, resigning himself to a long afternoon talking about clothing he had no clue how to make. But when he turned to Lwaxana, her face was kind, even bordering on sympathetic.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be quizzing you over bobbins and backstitches. It is a shame that my dress will have to wait for tomorrow, but I was planning to stay overnight anyway.”

Julian rubbed the back of his neck, “I truly am sorry, this has been a very weird day for me. And I’m sure for Garak too. I guess we were both just curious? What the other one’s life was like?”

Lwaxana nodded, “It’s perfectly natural to be curious. And people’s minds tend to overlap more than you’d expect. It’s like watercolors blending together at the edges after they’ve spent enough time on the same page.” Her fingers danced along a row of velvet garments, “You and Garak were already quite blurred before this; I’m not surprised your brains got switched up.”

Julian tilted his head, “But… this didn’t just happen. I mean, it was a transporter accident. People’s minds don’t randomly switch bodies.”

Lwaxana only hummed at that, “Different ways to describe the same phenomena. I believe early Humans would’ve called it ‘magic’?”

“‘Magic’, maybe. But now we’ve got science, we can measure these sorts of things!”

“And how well have your measurements helped you return to the right body?” Lwaxana asked.

He blinked, “What, do you mean you know how to fix this? How to get me back?”

Lwaxana shrugged, wandering over to a new rack of clothes, “All I know is that switching back shouldn’t be difficult. I imagine you science officers will find some way of doing it.”

“Yes, but–”

Lwaxana levelled her gaze at him, “I don’t know _how_ this happened, so much as I understand _why_ the situation occurred in the first place.”

“Because we’re close?” Julian asked. 

“Precisely.” she said, as if he’d solved it all. She turned around, surveying the room, “Well, as fun as this chat’s been, you don’t suppose you’d know where I could find your station’s Security Chief, do you?”

Julian grinned, ushering her towards the entrance, “I can certainly take a guess.”

“What a dear,” Lwaxana mused, taking hold of his arm, “You know, you are a lot cleverer than Odo says you are.”

“Really?” Julian laughed, leading her out of the shop and closing it behind him.

///////////

The Infirmary was blissfully quiet when Garak entered, surveying the various screens where information trickled into view. He could read Terran fairly well, but the way Starfleet organized its medical layouts were far less organic than with Cardassian technology. He could take a pulse just fine, and Julian had given him stern warning to fetch him immediately if there was anything worse than a dermal regenerator could handle. But Garak wasn’t terribly concerned about manning the Infirmary for two hours. It was nearing the end of the day and most people were either in Quark’s bar or heading back to their quarters. Everyone except, of course, Worf.

“I must inform you that Garak was in here earlier attempting to impersonate you.” Worf said in lieu of greeting.

“Ah,” Garak walked up to him, attempting his best British accent, “Yes, I did hear about that. But don’t worry, I’ve sorted it all out. He won’t be trying that again any time soon.” 

Worf nodded once, then turned about-face and began to walk away.

“Err, didn't you need something? Earlier?” Garak asked, flashing a smile. Over the course of the day, Garak had learned how to precisely imitate Julian’s charming smile, and was enjoying his newfound ability to wield it whenever possible. 

The charm didn’t seem to work on Worf, however, who was probably immune to everything but the deadliest of poisons. He harrumphed and continued out the door, vanishing around the corner. Garak caught Nurse Jabara’s stern glare and shrugged. You couldn’t fault a man for trying, now could you?

“... and if I’d known that _sark_ was going to be here, I’d have waited on the kanar.” a very familiar voice said, fading into hearing range well before the man turned into the Infirmary, helped along by a lower-ranking soldier. Garak had half a lifetime of experience pretending Dukat’s presence didn’t make him want to run a garroting wire across the man’s throat, but it took a second to realize why Dukat didn’t react the same way. Instead, Dukat looked at him and _smiled_.

Garak glanced around for Nurse Jabara, but she was suddenly nowhere to be found. She must’ve conveniently left the room the minute she heard Dukat’s voice. He couldn’t say he blamed her. 

“Doctor, glad to see you’re still here.” Dukat limped over to the examination table, body perched to avoid putting weight on his left leg. The wound didn't appear to be bad, most likely the result of a bar scuffle. It could probably be healed with a dermal regenerator. Probably. Or better yet, sterilized first with some rubbing alcohol.

“I take it you’ve gotten into more trouble?” Garak asked, searching through one of Julian’s first aid kits and smiling to himself when he found a small bottle and cloth. He dipped a considerable amount of alcohol on the cloth and then pressed it directly to Dukat’s leg.

Dukat hissed, yanking his leg away, but Garak pulled it back, “Stop that! Or do you want to die of infection?”

Dukat grumbled, but went back to addressing Garak’s previous question, “It was nothing I couldn’t handle, I assure you, Doctor. I just wished you’d been there to see it.”

“Me?” Garak asked, taking his time getting to the dermal regenerator.

Dukat’s greasy smile returned, “I think you would have found our discussion quite interesting. Some foolish Klingon was trying to convince me that Cardassia’s treatment of its troubled soldiers was barbaric in comparison to the Klingon way.”

“I see. And why would I be interested in that?” Garak asked mildly.

Dukat blinked, “Well, you seemed quite adamant last time we talked that your own Federation was superior in its treatment of disordered soldiers.”

Garak was glad he wasn’t facing Dukat when he said that. He barely kept his face neutral, grip slipping against the regenerator. Dukat had been _arguing_ with Julian? Were moral discussions something they did on the regular?

He tapped the regenerator, “You must have suffered a worse blow than you thought, Dukat. I’ll need to use stitches for this.”

Dukat didn’t bat an eye, “Do whatever you need, Doctor, I don’t mind.” he chuckled, “It certainly won’t be the first time I’ve gotten stitched up.”

Garak had no trouble finding the equipment and getting to work. This wasn’t Dukat’s first time getting stitches, and it wasn’t Garak’s first time giving them. It wasn’t even the first time he’d stitched up one of Dukat’s own wounds while in battle. Dukat had a convenient tendency to forget that they were once both the same rank in their respective roles. If anyone who hadn’t personally witnessed Dukat’s younger years ever asked, Dukat may as well have sprung up from the ground a Gul. 

“So what do you think?” Dukat asked, eyes trained on Garak and not the wound, “I find it hard to believe you’ve changed your mind about the moral superiority of your Federation values.”

Garak pulled tight on the thread, “You might be surprised how quickly a person can change.”

“Is that so?” Dukat leaned forward, eyes hungry, “Then you agree that Cardassians are right to leave those with battle fatigue on their own? That the State is wise not to waste valuable time and resources on their rehabilitation?”

If Garak had been unsure about it before, he was certain now that Dukat was trying to flirt with Julian. Dukat was attempting to egg the Doctor on, get him fired up over a topic Julian was sure to have strong opinions about. Garak pasted on a placid smile and finished his stitches with a quick snip. He then went to place the equipment back in its kit. 

Dukat got up, refusing the hand of the other soldier as he padded towards Garak. He stopped when Garak swiveled around, the placid smile turned sharp.

“Actually,” Garak stepped forward, hands clasped almost pleasantly behind his back, “It’s not Cardassian morality I take issue with. It is your ability to understand them in comparison to the Federation’s.”

Dukat drew a sharp breath. It was one thing to argue with a Cardassian about a topic; it was an entirely different one to question their ability to argue. Garak grinned. He’d been right about one thing he’d said to Julian: he would never get this chance again. Might as well use some of those devastating insults he'd crafted over the years. 

“You think I, a Cardassian Gul, is unqualified to defend my own government’s laws?”

“I think your personal _integrity_ leaves much to be desired.” Garak glanced meaningfully down, “Perhaps, if you were capable of thinking with your brain instead, I would be more interested in this discussion. Alas, I fear you’ll have to seek out one of your paramours with whom you can better match your intellect.”

Dukat’s posture stiffened. Somewhere off to the side, the other soldier stood with his mouth open.

“I’m sorry you think I cannot provide better conversation.” Dukat said, but then took a step forward, mouth too close to Garak’s ear, “Although perhaps… it is your judgement that is lacking; if you’re game to test it?”

Garak bristled. He’d assumed Dukat would back off within a few scathing remarks, but apparently Dukat liked that sort of thing. He supposed he’d have to add “hate sex” to Dukat’s confirmed list of kinks. Garak would need to change tactics: if not cleverly insult the man, then perhaps make Julian an unappealing target.

Garak stepped into Dukat’s space, forcing the man to back up. 

“Perhaps I should make myself clearer: you’re an ass,” he punctuated each word with a step forward, “a tart,” he shoved Dukat back, “and a moron. You’re an overgrown iguana with too much ego for your own good. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, you can shove off to the next planetary system and never come back!”

The insults were pathetic. He would never be caught dead in his own skin using those retorts. But that was the point. Almost immediately, the excitement in Dukat’s eyes died, fading into disappointed boredom. His usual strut returned as he stepped away; for Dukat, the Doctor’s inability to continue brandishing worthy insults meant the conversation was over.

“Yes, well, it’s a shame you feel that way.” Dukat smoothed out his uniform, “I’ll make sure to have a Cardassian doctor remove the stitches once they’ve healed.” He gave one last sour smile before walking out. The other soldier, who for a bit there had been regarding Garak with amused respect, now looked disinterested, following after his Gul without a word. To Dukat, it looked like he’d won the argument with Deep Space Nine’s doctor, even if it was a stale victory. But Garak knew, as he closed the Infirmary and headed back to his quarters, that he’d won the real confrontation.

The adrenaline from his fight quickly dissolved as the weight of the day’s events began to fold back onto him. Now that his brain wasn’t focused on Dukat, all his other senses swarmed in. The halls that used to seem quiet now ached with various beeps and whirs. The lights, once comfortable, were now too bright for his tired eyes. By the time he got to his door, Garak just wanted to have a shower and go to bed. 

He’d already turned the lights in his room so dim they might as well be off, and he shucked off that absolutely horrid (but soft, strangely soft) Starfleet uniform. He still felt unbalanced and too light on his feet, absently wondering if Julian actually ate enough to keep some meat on his bones. Judging from a look in the mirror, apparently not.

Then he realized he was looking at Julian’s naked body and not his own, and jerked back, averting his eyes. He stepped into the sonic shower, studiously keeping his gaze above the waist, and pressed the button to start it.

The air split with a piercing whine that shattered Garak’s nerves. He jumped, clamping his hands to his ears as he rammed his elbow into the button to turn the shower off. After a few seconds, the whine mercifully stopped, leaving a ringing silence in its wake.

Garak shuddered, glaring at the button. What was wrong with his shower? 

No, not his shower. What was wrong with _this body_?

A search through his closet fared no better, each outfit’s fabric becoming more unbearable than the last. The final straw, however, was when he collapsed into bed, and instantly shot back up, its scratchy texture making his skin crawl.

He scowled, snatching up a bathrobe and marching back out into the hallway, taking the shortest path to Julian’s quarters. There had been too many bizarre problems with Julian’s body to ignore, and he was tired of it. One way or another, he was going to get some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos fuel me and are much appreciated! Talk to me about these dumb characters we all love!


	3. Chapter 3

Julian barely had time to register the doorbell before the doors swept open and Garak stormed inside, making a beeline for him.

“Garak, what–?”

“Doctor, something is terribly wrong with me.” Garak growled, voice dangerously low, “Everything is _rough_ , my clothes are unbearably itchy, and my bedsheets chafe against my skin. My shower nearly gave me hearing damage! There are foods I can no longer stand to eat. What is going on?”

Julian coughed, “Ah, well, you’re just not used to being Human, that’s–”

“No!” Garak said, drawing close, “No, these are not problems Humans have to deal with. I have had picky customers in my time, but none have complained of a cloth’s texture causing them psychological pain. And if sonic showers gave every Human such nuisance, they would not be installed all over the place by Starfleet. There is something else going on here, something about _you_ specifically!”

Julian went still. It was so unlike Garak to go into an argument already stating his thoughts so plainly. However the genetic enhancements were affecting him, it’d already been wearing away at Garak’s nerves for quite awhile. Julian bit back a grimace and motioned towards the couch, waiting till Garak sat down before speaking. “Have you identified what types of textures or fabrics are irritating?”

Garak frowned at the blunt change of subject, but acceded, “Silk. Inkarian wool. Anything with less than 75% cotton, I’m fairly certain.” he sulked, “And whatever my bed sheets are made of.”

A small smile spread across Julian’s lips, and he went over to his wardrobe. He pulled out one of his uniforms, rolling up a sleeve so that the inside layer was now out, “How about this?”

Garak ran a tentative finger along the fabric. His sigh of relief was palpable, “That is definitely preferable. I believe it is the same material present in the uniform you were wearing when we switched bodies?”

“Exactly.”

“Stretch knit, I’m guessing?”

“On Earth, it’s called jersey. Mostly made of cotton, I think. Starfleet is pretty particular about uniform regulations, but they did let me have the soft inner lining on special request.” he nodded back towards his bathroom, “And a hydraulic shower instead of a sonic one.”

Garak blinked. Pieces of the puzzle were starting to lump together, though he could not make out the larger picture. He gave Julian an appraising eye, “Why Doctor, it would appear I have misjudged your experience in fashion. Here I’d assumed you just grabbed clothes at random from your closet.”

Julian laughed, “I do. I just filled my wardrobe with clothing made of fabrics I knew I could stand. One of the perks of being autistic – I have quite the knowledge of Good Textures and Bad Textures. It’s different for everyone, but I’ve found jersey to be a popular choice.”

“So… when you came to the Gratitude Festival in that yellow and brown dinner jacket…?”

“Comfiest suit I own.” Julian grinned.

Garak sighed, “Remind me to make you Good Texture clothing that actually flatters you.”

Julian laughed and dropped down onto the couch next to Garak. 

Garak shifted beside him. “So, how did Ms. Troi take our little switch-up?” 

Julian’s mouth dropped open, “You mean you knew she was coming?” Garak answered with a smile and Julian rolled his eyes, “Of course you did. I think I gave her quite the fright at first; she said she could tell immediately that something was off about you. She thought you’d been possessed!”

Garak chuckled, absently running his fingers along Julian’s shoulder, “Hadn’t I, though?”

“What, been possessed?” Julian asked..

“A mutual possession, one might say.” Garak tipped his head, “If it’s any consolation, my dear, you are the only one I would choose to be possessed by.”

“You flatter me.” Julian said, resting hishead on Garak’s shoulder, “Anything happen in the Infirmary?”

“Oh, no too much. Worf informed me about how the Other Me was attempting to pull the wool over his eyes.”

“Mm, yes, I was wondering if he’d show up again. I suppose we can let him believe what he wants.”

“Quite.” Garak said, his fingers coming to squeeze the back of Julian’s neck, “By the way, are you aware that Dukat has been flirting with you?”

Julian snorted, giving him a quizzical look. When he saw that Garak was serious, his eyes widened, “Flirting? With _me_? Oh, I ought to give that bastard a piece of my mind.”

Garak smirked, “Don’t worry, my dear. I already have. He is now quite clear that you are off limits.”

“Oh lord.” Julian rolled his eyes, cracking a grin, “Please tell me I’m not going to get a call from the Cardassian Government demanding my head.”

“If the government wanted you dead, my dear, they wouldn’t bother calling.” Garak said cheerfully, “Thankfully for you, I handled the situation with extraordinary tact.”

“Like how you handled those Klingons that one time you came in with two broken ribs and a sprained wrist?”

Garak sniffed, “That was their own fault. Cardassians handle conflict with much more civility.”

“And with Dukat? Did you get any cutting remarks in?” Julian grinned.

Fingers stroked his neck, “Only the finest.”

Julian chuckled, then went quiet for a moment, “What did you mean, when you said I was ‘off limits’?”

“Hmm?”

“You said you made sure Dukat knew I was ‘off limits’. That phrase, it sort of implies that I’m, uh, already taken.”

Garak’s fingers stilled. Julian twisted to try and look at him. 

“I apologize. I had not meant to suggest anything untrue of you.” 

“Well… it doesn’t have to be untrue, you know.” Julian said quietly, staring intently at the carpet, “I mean, I’m grateful you warned Dukat off.” his legs began to fidget, and he stuttered a laugh, “I can’t say I really see much appeal in stubborn old lizards with far too much ego.”

“Then why do you hang around me?” 

Julian looked up at him, body stilling, “You're not stubborn, you’re passionate about your beliefs. There’s a difference: you’re still willing to listen to others.”

“Some would say that is a weakness of me.”

Julian jaw set, “Dukat… he loves out of greed.”

“And I?” 

Julian slowly reached out and cupped Garak’s chin, “I think you love out of wonder.”

Before Garak could breathe, Julian pressed a kiss to Garak’s cheek. 

Garak’s brain stammered to a halt, and he stared back at Julian. 

Julian blushed, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed–”

“No, it’s…” Garak huffed dryly, hand touching where Julian’s hand had been, “I’m just not used to being kissed by, well, me.”

“Oh.” Julian ducked his head, “Right.” 

Garak let his hand fall from his cheek and he turned to really look at Julian. Yes, Julian was in Garak’s body. At first glance, it looked like there was just another Garak sitting across from him. But then Julian met his gaze and _those eyes_ … Julian gave life to those dull blue eyes in ways Garak had never been able to. 

“No… not me.” Garak corrected, closing the distance between them, “You’re so completely different than me. Despite outer appearance, I believe you manage to shine brightly through.”

“Really?” Julian’s mouth quirked into a smile. 

Garak nodded, “Yes. And something more: of all the smiles I’ve seen in the mirror, I don’t think I’ve ever managed one quite like yours.”

Julian’s smile grew wider, positively beaming off his face. It was the happiest Garak had ever seen that face. It looked gorgeous on him.

Before he could change his mind, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Julian’s forehead _chufa_. It was something that he’d thought Julian would never be able to experience: the unique, soft love of a kiss that couldn’t quite translate to the Human body.

Julian gasped, and that made it all worth it, “Wow, that’s umm, that’s quite the rush of dopamine.”

“There is, of course, plenty of cultural significance too, but I thought I’d let you experience it first hand.”

Julian’s smile brought out laugh lines Garak didn’t even know he could have on his face, “Well thank you, Garak. Perhaps I should return the favor.”

“Hmm?” Garak made a perplexed noise, which quickly turned into a pleased hum as Julian ran his fingers through Garak’s floofy dark brown hair. He ran his nails along Garak’s scalp, eliciting a murmur of approval.

“I’ve recently discovered that Cardassian scalps are not very sensitive to pressure. Probably those thick heads of yours.” Julian said. 

Garak scoffed, moving his head for a better angle, “Speaking of differences in anatomy, you never answered why yours is so different from other Humans.”

Julian sighed, pulling away, “I already told you, I’m autistic. It just means my brain works a little differently, perceiving the world through strengthened senses. It’s nothing to worry about.”

Garak gave him an assessing glance, then sighed, “You have almost become a decent liar, Doctor. If you keep at it, you may well surpass me.”

“Oh I seriously doubt that.”

“I do as well, but then again, you do always manage to surprise me.” Garak’s gaze softened.

And there was Julian’s charming smile, echoed on that reptilian face, “Can’t keep surprising you if I reveal all my secrets, now can I?”

Garak mirrored his smile perfectly, “No indeed, my dear.” 

Julian linked a finger around Garak’s hand, letting it swing casually back and forth. They were very close now, legs overlapping each other and foreheads resting together. It was more love and comfort packed into one moment than Garak thought he’d ever receive in his entire life. And yet still he wanted to know more. What would it feel like to kiss Julian, to lay beside him, to hold hands along the Promenade and not care if anyone else saw? 

Garak closed his eyes, and suddenly everything around him was Julian. The softness of the couch, the gentleness of Julian’s hands, the quiet of a room created with the need to shelter from the rest of a noisy world. Garak had spent so much time over the last few years with Julian, he hadn’t even noticed just how much of Julian he’d let into his life.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, hmm?” Julian asked.

Garak opened his eyes and saw Julian looking back with so much warmth and kindness. It was all there, if he could reach out and accept it. Garak cupped the back of Julian’s neck, closed his eyes again, and kissed Julian on the lips.

The world shimmered with light, and Julian gasped, finding himself sitting opposite of where he’d just been. A deluge of noise and senses flooded in, and he realized he was now back in his own body, with Garak returned to his.

Garak blinked and looked around, “What was that?”

A breath of laughter escaped Julian’s lips, “Magic.”

Garak raised a brow. Above them, the room’s comm turned on.

“Julian, you there? Your combadge isn’t responding. Did the transporter work?” Miles’ voice asked.

Julian looked up, “Yes, it worked. Thank you!”

The comm crackled with static, “Right, well, I’d tell ya to turn yourself into the Infirmary for inspection, but I imagine you’ll be doing that already. Garak with you?”

“Yes, Chief, I’m here as well.” Garak replied, seeming relieved to have his normal voice back. With an affirmative, the comm shut off, and the two looked back down at each other.

A thought occurred to Julian, and he leaned forward, kissing Garak… _actually_ physically Garak. He knew now from personal experience that Garak’s lips were soft, often chapped, but what he couldn’t have realized from his time being in that body, was that Garak’s lips were warm. 

When he broke away, Garak continued to stare at him in awe. Julian grinned, “I thought I might see what it was like kissing you, now that we’re switched back.”

“Oh?” Garak’s hand settled to the small of Julian’s back, “And how did you find the experience?”

Julian leaned in towards his ear, like he was sharing a dirty secret, “I think I much prefer it this way.”

“I concur.” Garak smiled, and tilted up to kiss him again. Julian almost welcomed it, until he felt how sweaty his palms were getting and pulled back, scowling indignantly.

“You really didn’t wash my hands while on duty, did you? And my pits – I’m sweating like a pig!”

Garak harrumphed, “Forgive me if the sudden, piercing shriek of my shower kept me from washing your underarms. I was slightly distracted at the time.”

Julian tsked, heading towards the bathroom, “That’s why I have the hydraulic shower. Water is so much more pleasant.”

Garak trailed after him, “You wouldn’t mind if I borrowed your shower tonight, Doctor? I believe I’d rather avoid using a sonic shower for a little while.”

Julian snorted, opening the shower door, “Sure, step on in, plenty of room.”

Garak blinked. Julian blinked back. Then his mind caught up with his mouth, “Oh, I mean, you meant… I’m sorry I –”

“No need to apologize, Doctor,” Garak said, “Although, if the offer is still available, I wouldn’t mind having you instruct me on proper usage of a hydraulic shower.”

Julian’s beautiful smile returned, and he stepped back out, mere inches from Garak, “It would appear I am wearing one of your bathrobes, Garak. You wouldn’t happen to want it back, would you?”

Garak perked up, “Only at your earliest convenience, Doctor.”

“I’ll be sure to let you know,” Julian trailed a finger down along the dip in Garak’s intricately patterned shirt. It buckled slightly at the weight, partially revealing the small spoon-shape on his chest. Julian hadn’t paid much attention to it when it was a part of him, or anything below the belt for that matter. Now, he sorely wished he knew more about Cardassian anatomy.

Garak smiled, “Perhaps there is something we can both teach each other.” He reached down and took hold of Julian’s finger, pressing a kiss to it, “Human hands, not so sensitive as Cardassian ones, but deliciously soft.” he guided Julian’s hand behind him to where Julian could feel a zipper. Julian’s smile turned mischievous, and he leaned forward, dragging the zipper open at an agonizing rate. Garak nipped at Julian’s ear in retaliation, and the rest of the shirt opened with ease. 

Julian allowed his hand to be guided again by Garak, this time to help him slide out of his tunic, till it slipped down to the floor, leaving bare skin beneath. Julian had seen Garak in various states of undress before, usually for medical purposes, but this was special. Before, his chest had consisted of a heart beat, of ribs and lungs and pulmonary veins. Now Garak’s chest was a mosaic of shimmering scales and softer skin, all flowing down to his waist. Garak placed Julian’ fingers on the small spoon in the center of his chest, and leaned in close.

“The _chulah_.” he placed a kiss to Julian’s collarbone, “Similarly sensitive. Although, from experience, I can now say it does not seem Humans have such a clear distinction between different forms of love.”

“Really?” Julian breathed, lids fluttering at Garak made his way up Julian’s neck.

Then Garak stepped away, nudging Julian back towards the shower with a cryptic grin, “Your turn.”

Julian laughed, shaking his head as he stepped into the shower, “I can’t believe you don’t know how to use a regular water shower.”

“I only said I required instruction on _proper_ usage of such a shower.” Garak reached out and tugged at the loose tie around Julan’s waist, “And I believe I’ll be having my robe back now.”

Julian let the robe slip off of him, before reaching out and tugging Garak into the shower, “Fairs fair. Your turn.”

Garak scoffed playfully, allowing the rest of his clothes to be removed, till they both stood naked in each other’s gaze. It was more than Garak could seem to handle, his smile shaky at the edges, and Julian tilted both their heads up so they were only looking at each other’s face, “There is only one thing I can find possibly unappealing about this situation, Garak.”

“Oh?” Garak’s eyes peered into his.

“Yes. Humans tend to prefer warm water for their showers, and I’m afraid things could get rather unsexy if you choose to bathe with cold water.”

The uncertainty in Garak’s eyes vanished completely, replaced by an enigmatic spark, “It would appear Humans and Cardassians agree on this matter, my dear. Please turn the water to however warm your skin can stand.”

Julian grinned, and turned the dial, pushing it into the wall. Immediately, gloriously hot water sprayed down on them, running in rivulets down their bodies. Stray droplets dotted Julian’s shoulders like freckles, and Garak must have taken notice, as he leaned in and licked up several of them, causing Julian to giggle. He could feel Garak smile against his skin, and then Garak straightened back up, face schooled into mild curiosity.

“And which of us should wash first, my dear?”

Julian reached his arms around Garak’s neck, pressing closer to him, “Depends. You were telling me about Cardassian anatomy?”

“Ah, yes,” Garak continued as if he were returning to a lecture. The illusion was somewhat hindered by the fact that his hands hadn’t stopped massaging circles into Julian’s hips, “The _chufa_ , you already know. Meant for pure, innocent love. Friends, family.” he pressed his forehead to Julian’s, “Perhaps more.”

“And the chula?” Julian tipped his head, running a finger along the edge of said _chula_. When Garak did not answer immediately, Julian bent down and placed a wet kiss there.

Garak shuddered, “More intimate. Sensual usually. Meant for more involved partners.”

Julian grinned against the cool of Garak’s skin. If kissing Garak’s _chula_ reduced him to incomplete sentences, Julian would have to do more experimenting with that in the future. He let his fingers lead down towards Garak’s waist, a question in their leisurely path. When Garak did not stop him, he rested his hands along Garak’s hips.

“And the third?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. Framed between Garak’s hips was the third spoon, flatter and broader than the others.

“That,” Garak stuttered a breath, “Is for much later down the line.” He relaxed when Julian’s hands remained where they were, taking him for his word that whatever lay between Garak’ legs was for another time. It made Julian’s heart skip a beat. Garak wasn’t just speaking of the present; the now shared between their bodies. There was a future here. A secret that Garak was keeping till they were closer, _more intimate_. It was so essentially Garak that it made Julian snort a laugh. 

“Care to share what’s going on in that head of yours, my dear?” 

Julian grinned, “You, Garak.” he brought Garak’s hand lower down his hips, “My turn?”

Garak chuckled, “You continue to be full of surprises.”

Julian rested his head against Garak’s, “Enough for more than one shower?”

“Enough for several thousands of them.” Garak’s fingers followed Julian’s down till they framed Julian’s cock, which for the past several minutes had been woefully neglected. Julian’s guidance ended there, as Garak seemed to already know the basics of Human anatomy. _Of course_ Garak would know; he had half the station’s trouser measurements! There was probably very little about most alien bodies that Garak couldn’t sketch out in rough detail. 

Julian was considering inquiring further, when his train of thought slammed to a halt, replaced by a shiver of pleasure as Garak stroked along Julian’s dick. His thumb slowed around the tip, rubbing in deliciously slow circles. Julian gasped, having to use the shower wall to steady himself.

“Gar-gar-hmm-oh!” Julian panted. It was absolutely unfair how easy Garak made it look, a hand coming back to cup Julian’s balls as the other continued to stroke in tantalizing patterns.

“Yes, my dear?” Garak rumbled, blinking up at him, “Would you like me to bathe you now?”

Julian grunted, “Don’t you dare. Not till you’ve finished me off properly.”

“Hmm?” Garak asked; Julian’s reaction seemed to have hooked Garak’s curiosity. Then realization dawned on his face, “Oh Julian. I apologize; I think I understand now the elusive meaning of the Human phrase ‘blue balls’.”

Julian squirmed, silently begging for Garak to keep pace with his strokes, “Yes, and it’s quite uncomfortable if not, hnng, finished. Do you mind?”

There was a glimmer in Garak’s eyes as he replied, “My dear Doctor, if it is completion you want, I suggest you make use of this shower’s assistive railing.”

“What?” Julian barely had time to ask, before Garak gave a final stroke along his cock, and then took the full length of it into his mouth. White hot pleasure surged up Julian’s spine as Garak began to set a demanding pace, licking and sucking along his length while the remaining hand continued to rub his balls. Julian gripped the shower rails and didn’t let go, as Garak began to take him apart moment by moment, breath by breath. It was spectacular. It was too much. It was perfect.

Soon the telltale pressure began to build in the back of his brain, tingling as he gasped and tried to warn Garak of the impending climax. Garak instead moved in closer, doing something with his tongue that made Julian lose control of his hips. It was utter bliss to not have to think, to hold on tight and let Garak take him wherever he may. 

His hands found Garak’s hair and tugged on their own accord. Garak probably didn’t realize it, but Julian could hear a faint rumbling in his chest. He trailed a finger down the side of Garak’s neck and the sound grew louder. 

“Would you mind, my dear,” Garak pulled off, hand taking his mouth’s place on Julian’s cock, “If you bite where your hand is resting, just now, please?”

“Well,” Julian breathed a giddy laugh, “Since you asked so politely.”

Garak gave a final stroke, and Julian’s legs buckled beneath him, sliding into Garak’s arms as his climax overtook him. He had enough presence of mind to sink his teeth down into the ridge of Garak’s neck, causing the other man to moan as he clutched Julian tightly. When the adrenaline faded, the two slumped together on the floor of the shower, water still raining on their bodies in shining speckles. Julian hummed and nuzzled further into Garak’s arms, mouthing along the faint bite mark on Garak’s neck. 

Garak sighed contentedly, “You have no idea how glad I am to be returned to this body.”

Julian nudged Garak’s chin with his nose, “Oh?”

“Indeed. Without you, I doubt I would enjoy it nearly so much. I must thank you for making the reunion such a pleasant one.” he placed a kiss near Julian’s collarbone. 

Remembering what Garak had said earlier, Julian tilted down and placed an equally soft kiss on Garak’s _chula_ , “The appreciation is mutual. Perhaps we could enlighten each other further on such matters in the future?”

Garak’s answering smile was the most beautiful he had ever seen, “Perhaps, dear. Perhaps.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Notes:  
> *pulls out Speculative Cardassian Reproductive Xenobiology like it’s a textbook* i hope you all did the reading class. asfjlkgfshj
> 
> this is like the second or third time i’ve ever written smut so, please to be kind 
> 
> i love comments and kudos! thank you for reading and i hope i could give y’all something to enjoy! <3


End file.
